Hey all! Long time no post! Well, haha, as for an excuse for not posting anything for like two months… I don’t have one. Just… Lord have mercy on my soul… But I’m posting something now! It’s just a flash story that I wrote up today. It’s quick and not at all edited but it’s something! I’ve actually have been working on a longish short story in the background that I hope to post this month. I just gotta get back into the swing of things…
Everything was going wonderfully; the food was great, their conversation rarely had a lull, and she looked exactly the same as her profile picture. Victor gave his date a gleaming, wide-mouthed grin. All he had to do now was ascertain the young woman’s preference on something truly important. If her appreciation of such thing matched that of Victor’s, then everything else would perfectly fall into place.
“Sooo…” Victor began, lightly stabbing his fork into the butterscotch cake set out before him. “What’s your opinion on… The greatest hero of our time, A?”
Heather snickered, rolling her eyes as she took her fork out of her mouth. “I’d hardly call him the greatest…”
“Haha…” Taking a quick breath of air, Victor continued with, “And what do you mean by that, exactly?”
“Well, to be honest it seems like he’s going about being a hero for the wrong reasons.”
Victor replied with another, this time slightly louder, laugh. “The wrong reasons you say!?”
“Simply put, he’s an egomaniac.” Heather took another bite of her dessert, distracted by her plate to notice Victor’s pained twitch. “I mean,” she followed, “All the signs are there.”
The wonderful evening had hit impenetrable impasse, one only the strongest hero of all could possibly break though. Luckily, the strongest hero was already on the scene! Ready to take down the seemingly impervious thoughts of one very, very wrong girl. The champion of the law, the savior of the people, the crusher of the nefarious, the man of action simply known as A, an egomaniac!?
“Preposterous!” Regular everyday man, Victor Justice, refuted. “How could the hero of this city, A, possibly be an egomaniac?”
Another snicker. “You sound like you’re his spokesperson.”
“No, no! I’m just a… passionate fan.”
Heather shook her head, “Anyways, he’s clearly just in it for the popularity. He never fails to save people, sure, but he also never fails to miss an interview of a photo opp… And his name? A? It sounds cocky, not just to me, I’m sure.”
Now she dared to insult his very name?! “I’m sorry, but cocky? It’s just a letter. The first letter of the great American alphabet that is.”
“Um, our alphabet isn’t American. It actually originated…”
“Well!” Victor boomed, cutting off his company. “America starts with the letter A! So does amazing, and astounding, and awe-inspiring! In my humble opinion, it’s a very strong name for superhero.” Stabbing his fork deeper into the cake, Victor tore off a large chunk and shoved it into his mouth. “The strongest name…” he added.
“Well you just made my point for me. The name A just because a lot of impressive words start with the letter? That’s cocky.”
“The very hero that once defeated the malicious mercenary Null, you call cocky?”
“Null, that guy dressed in black who wears a white mask? Didn’t he get away?”
“That’s, uhhhh… Up to debate! But A did stop him! And man was it hard to hit him…”
“Hard to hit him?”
“As in, he clearly looked like a crafty one… Truly a terrible villain, and our hero A stopped his evil doings in one afternoon! How can you call him cocky?”
“From what I remember,” Heather said, crossing her arms in annoyance, “After stopping what ever evil he was doing, A let him slip away. And instead of chasing after that supposed terrible villain, A just went and had an interview with the press.”
Victor pointed his finger at Heather, angrily about to respond before she raised her hand to interrupt.
“And that’s just the tip of it. After every fight he immediately talks to the press, or has a public meeting with the mayor, or even has some big onstage speech in the middle of the city square.”
“Things were dire after A’s encounter with that green, Frankenstein’s monster of a beast…”
Heather snapped. “That’s another thing! He always calls every moment the most dire attack or something. Blowing all these issues out of the water just to make himself look better… Irredeemable.”
“And dire times call for speeches!”
“We don’t need a speech once a week.”
“Oh now you’re just exaggerating…”
“Another thing! Have you seen his outfit?”
“Are you gonna say the large A on his chest makes him an ass too!?”
“Oh I’m not talking about his dumb logo, I’m talking about all the ads on him. There’s a patch for some soft drink on his left shoulder, an oil company on his right, a large pharmaceutical company on his back! No hero should be a walking billboard!”
Victor slammed him fist on the table, carful not to hit it too hard. The other restaurant patrons all turned their attention to unfolding altercation. “Everybody needs to make a living! Those companies came to him first! He just accepted their offer… And they barely take away from his outfit!”
“There are baby wipes… on his ass.”
“His lower back!”
“You can defend, as you said, “the greatest hero of all time”, selling himself out?”
“Selling out!? Someone risks their LIFE for you and this whole city, and you say their selling out!? How do you sleep at night?”
“I sleep perfectly fine! With the knowledge that other, more suited heroes, are out on patrol! Instead of laughing it up with the host of a lazily written late night show!”
“No other heroes come close to A! And Baxter Rasso is an American treasure!”
“Captain Prime, Splice, Valor, hell even Arcane is a better hero than A.”
“Arc…! Arcane!? He doesn’t even have any powers! He thinks, just cause Arcane sounds mystic, bad guys will fear him and the actual dark powers that he doesn’t even have! He comes nowhere near A, who has actual powers and once fought an actual demon!”
“My god!” Heather shot up, slamming both her fists on the table. “You sure are some passionate fan, riding his dick like it’s yours!” The young woman grabbed her purse, took her jacket off the chair, and stormed out of the restaurant in a fury.
Victor sat at the table, glaring at the now empty seat. To be disrespected like that was inconceivable! And the date had gone so well up until that massive roadblock. But Victor had dodged bullet, a figurative bullet that is. Though being with someone who disliked A would’ve hurt more than the blasts from Null’s plasma handgun!
“Check!” Victor called out before shoveling down the rest his cake. Then shoveling down the rest of Heather’s cake.